Learn to Love: Guide to Healing your Disappointing Love Life by Thomas Jordan

How to identify, and resolve, what is wrong in your relationships

My rating: 5 out of 5

An essential guide for those who keep having love relationships with the “wrong” person for them, and how to stop repeating this negative pattern.

Learn to LoveThis self-help book, written by clinical psychologist Thomas Jordan Ph.D who has 30 years experience of research and treating patients, is about love relationships throughout life, and how unconscious unhelpful learnings from early relationships, including childhood ones, are often repeated throughout life.  This book is about learning how to stop forming love relationships with people who are not going to give you a long term fulfilling relationship, and instead form relationships that are right for you.     

Although quite a short book in number of pages, every page is jam packed with useful and interesting information, so it takes quite a time to read and take in all the information and suggestions given.  Each chapter is divided into short sections, enabling the reader to easily stop and think about the content – this book invites the reader to do a lot of thinking.  The sections are easy to understand and the language used suitable for all readers.  The ideas Dr Jordan puts forward are clear and in helpful stages, including some worksheets.    

The first 3 chapters of this book examine negative influences on people’s relationships. These chapters are a tough read, but essential in order to understand, and be able to work with, the more positive sections later on.   Within the chapters are exercises to enable the reader to think about their personal relationships, and how to unlearn unhelpful ways.  Many of the examples are taken from Dr. Jordan’s practice with his patients; he also talks about his own personal experiences of repeatedly starting relationships with people completely wrong for him, and how he turned this around – so interesting. 

5*s from me, as I loved the psychology in this book, and can recommend this book to anyone who finds themselves in repeatedly unsatisfactory relationships, and wants to learn how to meet people that are right for them.  Although the book is in easy to read and digest sections, the process of changing long held thought processes is something that needs time and effort, so this is a book to work with and keep referring to.   

Wish I had read this when I was in my 20s! 

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